Welcome negativity as you welcome positivity: Both are important for your mental and spiritual growth
With the rapid advent of social media and influencing online platforms like YouTube and Instagram, spirituality, spiritual ideas and thoughts, positivity, negativity, mental growth, and many such related aspects are getting new dimensions and definitions. This is happening solely due to the invasive influence of some key influencers on social media and other social media like platforms. These self-declared spiritual gurus denounce any types of negativities in life. They ask you to surround yourself with positive vibes and positive people so that no negative energy enters in your life.
How realistic is this process? Is it possible to bypass all these thoughts and people in real-world? Is it right and feasible to ignore or bypass negative people and negative thoughts? If you ignore or transcend difficult experiences, your emotional growth will not be complete, it will be undernourished and stunted at some particular stage that will be tough to comprehend. You liked it or not. Negativities are part and parcel of human life, they are inevitable, and bypassing them means failing to face reality.
According to the popular Buddhist teacher and author Num Pema Chodron, negative feelings and thoughts like irritation, anger, disappointment, fear, etc. are actually very clear psychological states of our mind most of which are instigated by external factors. He further says that these negativities show where are we holding back, what are our weaknesses, and where we are stuck?
There are many emotions that look very doleful from outside but they are actually good teachers. Sorrow, discomfort, challenge, depression, tension, and anxiety are quite normal in life but if you try to bypass them, they will be stuck with more power whereas if you face them look into them, and understand why they are in our lives, we will be able to get rid of them. Painful experiences make us more positive and help us grow into a complete human being.
If one sees broadly, fake positivity does nothing good in our life. Fake positivity means a positive state that actually non-existing but we try to conceive it. Encouraging someone who is a victim of depression or anxiety to think positive or imagine everything is happening right in their life is a fake positivity. One day when the same individual will face reality and realize that those positive things were only in their imagination, they will be more depressed. Thus, let them face reality. Teach them to understand what went wrong and what is wrong happening right at the moment in their life. It will strengthen them mentally and spiritually.
People come to a life coach or psychological therapist not because everything is going great in their life but life is full of negative emotions and so challenging that they could not face it alone. Sometimes we need the help of a third party who doesn’t know us personally to let us show what is going wrong with us. Our friends or relatives who have too intense emotional ties with us couldn’t help us in this matter. It takes real nerve to stop all those nonsense pretentions or fake positivity. Your true change starts happening when you boldly embrace the negative emotions and start introspection.
In many occasions, you simply need to acknowledge their existence, i.e. the existence of sorrow, anger, jealousy, etc. They will come and dissipate with time. But, sometimes, you have to question them, “Why am I feeling so depressed with my life?”, “why am I so annoyed with the circumstances?”; you have to question as the answers will teach what to do and what not. Change comes when you allow all forms of emotions to touch your soul not just the positive or feel-good ones.
We need to let ourselves experience ups and downs of life. It is said that a multifaceted life with full of challenges and boldness to face negativity is a complete life. When different feelings come to our life, we understand its real meaning, we could compare between negative and positive energies, and what is important for us.
So, from now on, when you feel unpleasant, depressed, irritated, or anything which relates to the so-called negativities, give it space, be insightful, and try to explore the source of it. Take a deep breath and notice its effects on your body and mind. If you could feel it in your body and mind, you will be able to win over it.
Always remember that most of the negativities are sourced outside your body or mind but the triggering points are inside us. Those outside sources trigger those internal points when we react. It is also true for all positive happenings in our mind. Giving the feelings space in your life means you are getting into those triggering points. With practice, you will feel mentally and physically stronger. A time will come when you will be able to face any challenge in life with utter audacity and strength.